Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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