what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
