perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
