You can't motorboat a personality
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
