Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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