9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
