what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
