he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
