they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
