the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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