i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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