I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
