I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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