I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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