I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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