ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
