I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
