did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
We smell like vodka and hangover
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