Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
