You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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