I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
