We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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