I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
