I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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