i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
