I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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