Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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