Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
