dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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