What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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