i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize