these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
