so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning