He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Your dad touched me again.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk