So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
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He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
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I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it