i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My vagina is very pro this idea
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.