Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I would ride that face into the sunset
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
