his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
