I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
