Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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