you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize