You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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