I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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