please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
