You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
