Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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