Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My dick has a subreddit
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
