Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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