I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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