Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
