are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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