i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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