This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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