He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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