no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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