I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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