I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize