i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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