Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
