do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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