we're blogging at a bar
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
