Whod you bang
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize